I Bleed Blood

I gave blood today. I like giving blood. Really, I do. 

No I don't. But I had you, didn't I? You think I'm the kind of person who would LIKE giving blood. "Oh, there goes that Mike Scotchie. (whispering) He likes giving blood!" But it's something I've done as long as I can remember. When I was a kid I gave blood all the time, mostly to the sidewalk, but preferably to new carpeting. Now the bloodmobile comes to our office every 2 months to collect it in a more orderly fashion. I like that. This could be "a thing." When the inevitable vampire apocalypse takes place, I'll be ready. "All right, fellas, settle down. SETTLE DOWN. Here's a pint, I'll see you in 8 weeks. Now beat it!"

One other thought -- why do bloodmobiles set their A/C on "Arctic"? I could hear a crackle as the syringe pierced my frozen flesh. I think I donated a pint of Slurpee. Here's a fun idea for bloodmobiles around Halloween, and I shared it with the crew last year in October. Decorate the inside of the bus with fake blood squirts on the ceilings and walls by the beds. Oh what fun! They didn't think it was a great idea though.

We're at a soccer field – must be our Anniversary!

My wife, Karen, and I just got back from a weekend at UF visiting our daughter, Michaela. Her club team was hosting a tournament. Some things never change. Our anniversary, Feb. 19, usually falls on President's Day weekend, which has been and still is a prime weekend for soccer clubs to hold or attend tournaments. I reckon over the past 10 years, we have spent 9 on a soccer field or traveling to one on Feb. 19. 

The one time this didn't happen was 3 years ago, and we forgot. Both of us. Oh, sure, we knew it was coming up in early February, but then life distracted us and neither one of us was aware on the 19th that we should be kissy kissy huggy huggy and all that. Our daughter, who does not have the best track record for remembering things, had to remind us with a nice text. Oops. We decided to go to a nice restaurant, first time we've done that on our actual anniversary date in forever, during which we both spent the entire time alternating between apologizing profusely and being deeply hurt.

Anyway, back to the tournament at UF. Wouldn'tcha know it, but Michaela had a super bad cold. After the first game, she considered asking her coach if she could sit out, but she decided to gut it out for the team. These girls are tough, and even though she says she didn't want to tell the coach she was sick because he intimidated her somewhat, I think the real reason was she couldn't bear to tell her teammates that coughing up a lung was too much for her to play on. That would have arched some eyebrows; one girl tried to play on a broken foot last year. These girls play for each other no matter what. So she played.
She endured three games -- 180 minutes -- Saturday, and her team made it to Sunday morning's semi-final, which was at 8:30 a.m.! No sleeping in for our little patient. She looked so ragged and pitiful when we took her to the field that I brought a shovel with me in case she dropped dead at some point and needed to be buried. Of course that game had to go into OT, with her playing nearly the whole game. They lost, which was a blessing in disguise. But overall a fun weekend, always great to see our little flower punkin baby angel.
On the drive home, Karen and I realized that between the soccer games and tending to our sick child, the weekend flew by and just didn't seem complete. So we celebrated our anniversary the way we've always done – a couple days late, watching a rented movie, and eating take-out wings. So now you know what to get us for our anniversary next year.

Driver of Car Finally Turns Right

After a lengthy deceleration, the driver of a 1998 Ford Taurus wagon finally turned right.

Jim Dumas, the driver directly behind the Taurus, witnessed the whole event. “At first I thought something was wrong. I mean, no one was in front of her. I tried to help her along by following closely and tapping my horn.” After a time, Dumas switched from arrhythmic horn-tapping to “trying to play the theme song from ‘Happy Days’.”

The driver of the Taurus, Helen Strahan, was unaware that her driving was drawing any attention. “That’s just the way I drive,” she said. “Safe and sound, like everyone should.”

Drivers in the center lane, waiting for their green light, soon noticed Strahan’s slow but determined progress and began cheering her on. “When I heard that,” Strahan beamed, “I felt like Richard Earnhardt at the Superdrive Bowl!”

At approximately 5:37 p.m., Strahan completed the turn at amid the honks and cheers of fellow motorists. She gradually accelerated onto Franklin Avenue until she got dangerously close to approaching the posted speed limit.